The ripples through the eldritch plains grew stronger, with each passing day the Domivar shard emanating more magic, until finally on the winter solstice Pannithor plunged into war! No less than ten armies placed their capitals and took the field, each representing a different aspiring warrior’s dream of finding this great source of arcane power.
Battle One: The Baby Battle
(Adam vs. James’ Snickrick)
Perhaps it was the magical maelstrom swirling through extra dimensional space? Then again, maybe it was the latent power hidden in the winter solstice? Or maybe she was too cute not to play with? But for some reason Adam decided to invent an entirely new form of magic never seen before in the world of Pannithor which I now name, “Progimancy”! Adam decided he would summon his six month old baby as a monster to trample his opponents models. Unfortunately, for him her innate cuteness only distracted our elf Lord and definitely did NOT impress his elf Lady… Long story short Jim’s goblins and Adam’s elves smashed each other into a thousand pieces and did a good job of killing virtually everything on the board, but in both their 1,000 and 2,300 point KOW games the goblins had just the few extra bodies necessary to pull off victory. The mad go cart riding, troll herding, mechanic of mayhem named Snickrick marches onwards towards victory while the cosmopolitan elves retreat back to their unfinished sky city.
Battle Two: The Tap Dancing Giant
(Stephen’s General Warwick vs. Grant’s Warlord Gularzob)
General Warwick would love to say his manly features and all-American beard scared the orcs into oblivion, but a certain giant tap dancing on green grapes might have had something to do with it… Now after suffering a terrible Vanguard and 1000 point KOW battle loss the orc tribe of Warlord Gularzob has been shattered, and whether a new race will claim their capital is an open question. In the meantime, General Warwick has stumbled upon a sacred grove and a giant. It is now time to start building a new kingdom of men.
Battle Three: Dive, Dive, DIVE!
(Dustin’s Dutsu vs Dan’s Lugnut McNuggins)
The two sides were as opposed in temperament as much as they were in tactics. Dutsu was an ancient tortle who have lived to see many centuries. He was slow to act and cherished life, only rising to take it in dire need. Supreme, self-appointed master engineer King Lugnut McNuggins was a cackling maniac who cared little for his own life, let alone anyone else’s. His insanity was so great that even after capturing a giant in their opening vanguard Skirmish the goblin king refused the titan’s help, for nothing on the field could soar higher than his majestic, duck tape bound flying machines. Yes, that’s right. In this battle he would finally test his latest and greatest creation, the goblin bi-wing airplane. Ultimately Dutsu’s forces were bested, but everyone’s favorite human/turtle-tortoise hybrid will return with Zilla, god of the local tribes, fiery help.
Battle Four: Of Dust and Snow
(Tony’s Rath vs. Curtis’ Jult)
What happens when you mix the freezing cold, magical properties of entropy infused ice magic with the undying heat of an empire baked dry under the scorching sun? You get a tie that can only be decided by one thing… who can surge the hardest! Luckily for High Priest Rath his earthly avatar was wearing a ridicules Mountain Dew green “SURGE” T-shirt which powered his units to the smallest of victories and ended Curtis’ tie streak. Nevertheless, the saga of dust and snow will surely be sung again, if only because neither managed to kill the bard in their vanguard game.
Battle Five: What the Heck Was My Son Thinking?!
(Paul vs. Jonathon)
Did you ever have one of those “who would win in a fight” debates with your bro? Like honestly now, Batman vs. Wolverine, who would win? Notice how every time you played that game you always picked interesting matchups between relatively even adversaries? Notice how you never once, ever, in your entire life asked yourself, “Who would win, a wall of rock hard, brainless obsidian golems or a bunch of brain eating zombies whose teeth can’t penetrate said obsidian?” Like, we don’t need to play that scenario out, right? Well that’s what poor Paul was thinking when he was playing the undead list his son Curtis wrote for him against Jonathan’s Abyssal Dwarfs. It got so bad that Jonathan put aside his sadistic Abyssal dwarf impulses and offered to replay the game letting Paul use a list that Jonathan had written, and sure enough Paul did just fine in game two (suffering a narrow loss). This leaves us wondering what was Curtis thinking. For whatever its worth, Curtis did seem VERY eager to play his Dad in the first game… just saying.
Current Standings
Stephen – Kingdoms of Men – General Warwick (Leader, survived) – 0 resources – 1 Sacred Grove – 5 Campaign Points
Dan – Goblins – King Lugnot McNuggins (Leader, survived) -2 crop, 1 wood – 4 Campaign Points
James – Goblins – Snickrick (Leader, survived) – 2 wood, 1 brick – 4 Campaign Points
Jonathan – Abysall Dwarfs (Mawler, survived) – 1 crop, 1 cattle, 1 metal – 4 Campaign Points
Tony – Empire of Dust – Rath (Hunter, survived) – 1 crop, 1 cattle – 3 Campaign Points
Curtis – Northern Alliance – Jult (Hunter, missing in action) – 1 wood, 1 brick – 0 Campaign Points
Paul – Undead – (missing in action) – 1 Brick – 0 Campaign Points
Adam – Elves – (missing in action) – 1 metal – 0 Campaign Points
Dustin – Forces of Nature – Dutsu (missing in action) – 1 cattle – 0 Campaign Points
Grant – Orcs – Warlord Gularzob (missing in action) – 1 cattle – 0 Campaign Points